6 Women Share The Most Shocking Things That Happened During Their Divorces | Women’s Health


It’s not surprising that divorce happens—but what goes down during the process of separating two lives can make a reality show look tame.

Source: www.womenshealthmag.com

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6 Women Share The Most Shocking Things That Happened During Their Divorces

Boy meets girl. Boy marries girl. Boy and girl divorce. It happens all the time. So while it’s not surprising that divorce happens, what goes down during the divorce can be pretty shocking. 

After all, it makes sense that the stress of separating two lives might bring out the worst in both you and your partner. And the result of that can make any reality show look tame. 

Here, we’ve asked divorced women for the most surprising things that happened during their splits.

“I knew my marriage was in trouble—I was already in the process of filing divorce papers—but I didn’t realize how bad it was until I got a message from a girl who said she was dating my husband and needed advice. At first I was enraged, but then I decided to call her back. My husband had told her he was divorced, and they’d been dating for months. Recently they’d begun to have troubles in bed and he couldn’t perform (probably from the stress of being a lying, cheating jerk?). Desperate to save ‘her’ relationship, she found me on Facebook and decided to see if I had any tips about how to help him when he got like that. 

“After I got over the shock of my husband’s mistress asking me for sex advice, I told her the real story about how we were still married and why we were divorcing. As if she weren’t proof enough! She was as shocked as I was and we ended up talking for three hours. She dumped him the next day. She is actually really cool, and we’re still friends even though my ex and I have long since finalized that divorce. Joke’s on him: I got the house, the kids, the money, and the girlfriend.” —Ellen C., 35, Salt Lake City, UT

“I never thought I’d be one of those crazy Fatal Attraction types, but when my husband served me with divorce papers out of nowhere, I became consumed with finding out why. One day we were having dinner together and talking about plans for a trip to see my brother and the next day all his stuff was gone from our apartment and there were divorce papers on the kitchen table. It made no sense! So I started by going to his job and hiding in the parking lot just to see if he was really there all the time like he said he was. On his first smoke break I saw him outside kissing a coworker. That should have been answer enough, but I had to know who she was and what made her better than me. So then I started following them after they got off work. I learned where they were living, where they grocery shopped, and that kind of thing. I even found out what movies they liked and how much their cellphone bill was because I went through their mail. I even tried to slash their tires once, but it turns out that’s a lot harder than it sounds and I couldn’t do it. 

“I’m not proud of my behavior! Even when I was doing it, I almost wished they would catch me so I could confront them both with everything I knew. Eventually I just gave up because it turned out they were really boring. On the last night of my stalking, I went to their place of work and sat down in a table that I knew was her area (she was a waitress). I stared at her to let her know that I knew exactly who she was and what she’d done. And then I left and never looked back. She wasn’t better than me at all.” —Lucy M., 29, Minneapolis, MN

Boy meets girl. Boy marries girl. Boy and girl divorce. It happens all the time. So while it’s not surprising that divorce happens, what goes down during the divorce can be pretty shocking. 

After all, it makes sense that the stress of separating two lives might bring out the worst in both you and your partner. And the result of that can make any reality show look tame. 

Here, we’ve asked divorced women for the most surprising things that happened during their splits.

“I knew my marriage was in trouble—I was already in the process of filing divorce papers—but I didn’t realize how bad it was until I got a message from a girl who said she was dating my husband and needed advice. At first I was enraged, but then I decided to call her back. My husband had told her he was divorced, and they’d been dating for months. Recently they’d begun to have troubles in bed and he couldn’t perform (probably from the stress of being a lying, cheating jerk?). Desperate to save ‘her’ relationship, she found me on Facebook and decided to see if I had any tips about how to help him when he got like that. 

“After I got over the shock of my husband’s mistress asking me for sex advice, I told her the real story about how we were still married and why we were divorcing. As if she weren’t proof enough! She was as shocked as I was and we ended up talking for three hours. She dumped him the next day. She is actually really cool, and we’re still friends even though my ex and I have long since finalized that divorce. Joke’s on him: I got the house, the kids, the money, and the girlfriend.” —Ellen C., 35, Salt Lake City, UT

“I never thought I’d be one of those crazy Fatal Attraction types, but when my husband served me with divorce papers out of nowhere, I became consumed with finding out why. One day we were having dinner together and talking about plans for a trip to see my brother and the next day all his stuff was gone from our apartment and there were divorce papers on the kitchen table. It made no sense! So I started by going to his job and hiding in the parking lot just to see if he was really there all the time like he said he was. On his first smoke break I saw him outside kissing a coworker. That should have been answer enough, but I had to know who she was and what made her better than me. So then I started following them after they got off work. I learned where they were living, where they grocery shopped, and that kind of thing. I even found out what movies they liked and how much their cellphone bill was because I went through their mail. I even tried to slash their tires once, but it turns out that’s a lot harder than it sounds and I couldn’t do it. 

“I’m not proud of my behavior! Even when I was doing it, I almost wished they would catch me so I could confront them both with everything I knew. Eventually I just gave up because it turned out they were really boring. On the last night of my stalking, I went to their place of work and sat down in a table that I knew was her area (she was a waitress). I stared at her to let her know that I knew exactly who she was and what she’d done. And then I left and never looked back. She wasn’t better than me at all.” —Lucy M., 29, Minneapolis, MN

“I credit the wonderful relationship I have with my dad today to my divorce. We really butted heads when I was a teen, and I never gave him the chance he deserved. When I got married he didn’t approve so we grew even further apart until we didn’t really speak anymore. When my marriage started to fall apart, I felt so desperate that I finally asked my parents for advice about my failing relationship. As my husband and I became more and more distant, my dad and I became closer together. For the first time, I realized what great parents I’ve always had. They weren’t trying to be mean before, they just didn’t want me to suffer. They could see things in my husband that I couldn’t. I never could have imagined the sheer magnitude of love and support my dad offered me. Now I’ve got a great relationship with my dad, a new relationship with a guy I love, and no relationship with the guy I divorced.” —Lisa M., 26, Portland, OR

“My husband and I were high-school sweethearts. We’ve been together nearly 20 years and have three beautiful kids together. The part we usually leave out is the five years that we were divorced. Our first marriage only lasted a year. We were both in our late teens and had no kids. At the time, we thought that clearly we’d gotten married way too young and divorce was the only way out of our miserable marriage. 

“So we parted ways. We were both relieved to move on to bigger and better relationships. After five years and countless awful dates that led nowhere, I ran into my ex at a mutual friend’s house. It was like we’d never been apart and we instantly picked up the good parts of our relationship. But we were nervous to get back together again, so we only saw each other ‘secretly,’ pretending it was just another fling. Except it wasn’t. Finally we realized that we still loved each other. We went to the courthouse on our lunch hour and got remarried. Our family and friends were shocked. 

“We definitely don’t have a perfect marriage, but it’s a good one. And when we fight, all we have to do is remember those lost five years and we kiss and make up. Now when people hear I was divorced and ask how I get along with my ex I can say, ‘Perfectly!'” —Anne R., 37, Seattle, WA

“I got divorced about a year ago after 22 years of marriage. It was the hardest decision I have ever made. I got married young, and although I did love him, I was also lacking in self-esteem. So when someone, anyone, wanted to marry me I wouldn’t have dreamt of saying no. I was sure no one else would ever love me. Now when I remember that decision, it breaks my heart. I was so loveable! Why did I believe that?

“For over two decades I put up with an unhappy marriage before finally deciding I loved myself enough to quit. But for the first time in my adult life I had to be on my own. I had to get a job, rent a house, and take care of my kids all by myself. At first I thought I would never be able to do it, but over the past 12 months I’ve learned how strong I really am. I’m finally remembering who I was on the inside. I regret nothing as I have two amazing children.” —Tracy P., 46, Minneapolis, MN

“I knew my divorce was going to be hard and stressful, but the one thing I didn’t expect was full-on insomnia. Pre-divorce, it was normal for me to sleep a lot when going through a tough situation. But now I’m awake at all hours.

“It doesn’t help that I have kids. I told myself that I was not going to let myself get depressed. I want to show them how to deal with these kinds of painful issues in a healthy way. So instead of overindulging in a bucket of ice cream, I started eating healthy and working out. Those pent up feelings have definitely put fuel in my workouts! I signed up for a Spartan Race and have been training for that. Now when I can’t sleep, I pound out burpees and pushups and sprint on the treadmill. My thoughts these days are to just keep moving. —Christine M., 28, Atlanta, GA

How the Law Office of Scott A. Ferris, P.A. Can Help

If you, a friend or a family member find themselves in a situation such as this, please call the Law Office of Scott A. Ferris, P.A. at 305 670-3330 right away. Scott A. Ferris, Esq. is a licensed family law attorney who has been practicing law since 1987. He is available whenever you need him to defend your rights. Please learn about our firm at www.FerrisLawFirm.com.

Republished by the Law Office of Scott A. Ferris, P.A.

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